Door Guardians

I want to steadily click this!

These are the strangest people I met when I first came to New York. It really doesn’t matter how many seats are on the train in question. There could be none, it could be empty, it doesn’t matter. They just stand there, on each side of the door way. Not only do they make everyone have to go single file on and off the train, but they seem to be as a group, anti-social. They don’t like to make eye-contact, just stand there staring straight ahead, not even at each other. (They seem to come in pairs.). The door guardians totally impede the flow of people on and off the train, especially at rush hour. You have to combine this with the self-entitled old retired ladies that line up directly in front of the door and will not move until they can get on the train and rush to the nearest seat. It’s an impasse, evil old lady versus the door guardians.

There are other strange people on the train at rush hour too. Backpackers and people with double wide multiple baby strollers do not make a whole lot of sense either. The backpackers come in pairs, usually male and female (might be part of their mating ritual), and perform pirouettes in the center of the train generally knocking down others without backpacks. The baby stroller types incessantly apologize for blocking doors or rolling over people’s feet. They make you think they just get on the train for the express purpose of being a nuisance. They can’t get up and down the stairs without help and never seem to use the elevators. Often times, the “babies” are fully ambulatory and don’t need the rolling monstrosities of aluminum tubes, plastic wheels, and brightly colored fabric. They can never collapse, regardless of how they were made, as they are always full of random stuff that the caretaker believes that they need to fill it up with, babies not included.

– David Tyler

Location:New York

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